So, I hate Edward Cullen, I mean that character. Rob Pattinson isn't that bad looking anymore, but whatever. Anyway, I hate the fact that he stands for true love which is the ultimate bullshit. But mostly, I hate how much I have in common with him. He views himself as the monster- the villain, that doesn't deserve anyone but a vampire, which he cannot find. He searched, but couldn't find one. He's scared that he might hurt Bella. I often view myself as the monster, and I don't deserve friends, and I'll hurt them like I have done in the past. He fight internally to keep from hurting someone, someone very close to him. I ovbiously have anger management issues, and I know eventually I will hurt anyone close to me, but when I explain this, they don't leave me. I have to fight the urge to lash out at people, to hurt them. I know I have it in me to kick the shit out of someone, as Edward has it in him to kill Bella. We fight out primal instincts, he - always the bloodsucker, and me - always the fighter.
I really don't like characters that are like me in any way, especially in my negative qualities. It just makes me hate myself even more, and it crushes tme to see someone so much like me get his happy ending, and know that I'll never get mine. This was really pointless, but oh well.
<3emily
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