I know, I say I hate attention, but most of the time I do. I only like being on stage, but I still freak out before I go on, but once I'm out there, I'm fine, I'm in my element. I love it. I love having all eyes on me. But I also hate it. I hate having attention drawn to me anytime other then preforming. That is, after all what I am. A performer.
Anyway, I also love getting credit for the things I do to benefit others. I could for instance, have let people fall on their asses and look like idiots on a certain Friday a few weeks ago, but nope. I didn't. You'd think I would get some sort of recognition for that? I was wrong. Nothing. Not even from the people I called my best friends. I WANT MY FUCKING CREDIT! I do the majority of the "nice things" I do for credit, for recognition, for some sort of outcome or giveback. I don't do those thing because I want to. Just like I didn't dance because I wanted to. I really didn't. I swore off dancing. I never want to do it again. But I did it, partly to save their asses, but mostly because I thought I'd be some sort of heroine, but nothing. Everyone else got thank you's, not me. And yes, I'm pissed, and yes, I will be until I get a satisfying amount of credit. Which will never happen anyway. But it's the principle of things, I will not let my pride down.
And we would have lost dance without me. :]
Here's to being angry at the majority of the class. :)
<3emily.
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