Happy? But Will it Last?

I get happy, but sometimes I have to restrain myself. Because as the quote says, something bad always happens. So usually I just say fuck it and spend all the time in a bad state. But sometimes I really want to try, like I do now. There's just a little voice in my head saying that everything is too good to be true, and that things can't always be this good. I usually don't listen to that voice, no matter how many times it's fucked me over. But from past experiences, I kind of want to listen to it. I kind of want to, but I like being happy, and the post last night was so full of hope. That's how I get, happy and optimistic, then the next night. BAM. The good mood fades, and I'm back to being alone. I hate nights. I'm alone, and it's so dark and cold. Sometimes I feel like I'm never going to wake up if i go to sleep. That I just won't. That I'll give in to the pain in my body, and in my soul.


<3emily.